Thursday, 7th September 2006
Funny Programming Quotes
A couple of days ago a blog post was digg'ed about Funny Programming Quotes. Here are my picks (the ones i liked) from them.
If you lie to the compiler, it will get its revenge.Trying to improve software quality by increasing the amount of testing is like trying to lose weight by weighing yourself more often. Once a new technology starts rolling, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road. Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable. There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows your whole leg off.Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works, but you don't know why.Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why. If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong. Sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice. And the users exclaimed with a laugh and a taunt: "It's just what we asked for but not what we want." Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. I've finally learned what "upward compatible" means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes. It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it. Rules of Optimization:Rule 1: Don't do it.Rule 2 (for experts only): Don't do it yet.The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. It's so easy to become mesmerized by the immediacy of a result that you don't question its validity. Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand. Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else. Any fool can use a computer. Many do. Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it. Incorrect documentation is often worse than no documentation. The primary duty of an exception handler is to get the error out of the lap of the programmer and into the surprised face of the user. Provided you keep this cardinal rule in mind, you can't go far wrong.
Posted by Nikhil on Thursday, 7th September 2006 in TechnoBabble | Humour | Fun